God's Purpose for Marriage
The Grace Solution
Divine Design
Marriage Relationships Womb to Tomb
Grace Support System
Marriage Kernel Model
Marriage Intimacy Model
Sexual Authority in Marriage
Marriage Spiritual Dynamics

God's Purpose for Marriage

The purpose of marriage was demonstrated in the Garden of Eden.  Marriage was the primary activity of the Garden.  After God made Adam to resolve the Prehistoric Angelic Conflict in the Appeal Trial of Satan, He added the woman for a love relationship.  The divine institution of marriage was established to bring Life and Love together in a totally satisfying relationship.  Man was given a counterpart like himself to afford the maximum love relationship with compatibility and intimacy.  God's design is always perfect; and the provision of the woman for Adam demonstrated the ultimate in grace blessing.  Man was given an unprecedented opportunity for expression and response to a special love relationship designed exclusively for homo sapiens, Right Man and Right Woman.

Marriage also has a spiritual symbolism.  It represents the love relationship between the Lord and His congregation of believers.  Under the Law that congregation was Israel, and today it is the Church, the "Bride of Christ." Just as there is one Right Man for one Right Woman, there is one God for the believer.

The Grace Solution

The Garden of Eden was the pattern, or model, for the grace solution of the Plan of God for mankind throughout history.  Grace is defined as God's non-meritorious favor on us undeserving sinners.  Grace is what God does based on who and what He is.  Grace does not depend on mankind.  Grace is God's work.  Grace includes a Plan for mankind, provision of salvation, a solution to sin (the cross), salvation by faith in Christ, a spiritual life, and eternal life.  Marriage is a grace solution for mankind.  It started in the Garden and will continue throughout human history.  God does the work in marriage - not people.  God is responsible for marriage. Just as in the Garden, the Lord Jesus Christ personally administers Marriage Grace.  He creates the woman for the man and escorts her to the him just as in the Garden.  Even though the arrogance of man does not recognize it, the Lord is the personnel director who personally handles introductions of Right Man - Right Woman.  Everyone born into the human race has a marriage partner, whether they recognize their partner or not.  Of course, with the arrogant window shoppers determined to do it their way and marry the wrong one, marriages are a mixed bag of right ones and wrong ones.

The precedent for Marriage Grace is the Garden of Eden.  The Garden did not survive but the function did.  Today, the Stage of Life replaces the Garden.  Yes, Shakespeare read the Bible.  But the actors and actresses on the Stage of Life are the production of the Plan of God.  The Grace Support System duplicates the function of the Garden of Eden.  Of course, it is no longer sinless perfection.  The productions deal with the themes of the Justice of God in the lives of mankind.

Grace Support SystemEvery day of our lives the Lord produces a play on the Stage of Life around the believer.  The stars of the play are Right Man and Right Woman.  The supporting cast of friends, enemies, or crowds complete with roles and scripts are provided in grace.  All the lights, music, and sound effects are all part of the multimedia production from the giant Server in heaven for human history.  The Server contains the Plan of God.  Of course, the Server does not really exist.  It is just part of the model so that we can understand the marvelous Grace Plan that God has for our lives.  The function of the Server does exist.

There are many implications of following the script from the Plan of God Server.  One is that the end of the story (when all the twists of fate are known) really exists.  This is not predestination.  It is based upon the foreknowledge of God.  God has a Plan to get us to our destiny by grace if we want to follow it.  But He still gives us a choice just as in the original Garden.  Our free will is never overridden.  However, the plot proceeds based upon our choice like an interactive, multimedia production.  We are free to choose for the Plan of God or against it.  We can respond to grace or reject it.  Response will bring blessing from God (since it was His grace offer in the first place).  Rejection will invite the wrath of God and the cursing of the world.

Teeter Totter ModelThe stars in the drama of life are Right Man and Right Woman.  They are inseparably bound to each other from the point of birth.  The teeter totter illustrates the delicate balance of the relationship.

The teeter totter illustration is taken from 1 Corinthians 11:11, which in corrected translation, is:

In its context, this is a very powerful illustration of the Right Man and the Right Woman inseparably bound on the teeter totter of the Grace Support System of Marriage Grace.  The verse is very powerful Greek oratory in which Paul is literally pounding the pulpit.  There are no definite articles and no verbs in the verse.  It is like a drummer making rim shots.  The English translation added verbs and a definite article to bring it into the English.  Once the umbilical chord is cut, there is no stronger tie in this life than the Right Man - Right Woman relationship.

In a previous verse (1 Corintians 11:7), the woman is said to be the reflected glory of the man.  She was created for the man (1 Corinthians 11:9).  She is under the authority of the man (1 Corinthians 11:3).  The woman gets her light and her life from the man.  However, after all this set up, Paul stops in verse 11 and cracks the pulpit with a drum stick with the teeter totter symbol.  The woman and the man are inseparably united.  They are a unit.  The woman is the reflected glory of the man, but she has the power to put the man's lights out (eclipse of the Sun analogy).  What's more, the teeter totter does not begin with marriage.  It is part of divine design of Right Man and Right Woman.  It starts at birth.  From birth, Right Man and Right Woman are inseparably united.

The verse ends with the phrase, "in relation to the Lord."  This is the Lord Jesus Christ as the divine administrator for marriage.  It does not say, Christ, because marriage is a divine institution for believer and unbeliever alike.  Christ would imply a relationship with the Church only.  Therefore, the Lord is used in the illustration of the teeter totter in Grace Support System.  The same Lord who sits on the Throne of Grace and is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Heaven, is the Lord who is the Administrator of marriage.

The Plan of God from the Server in heaven is for Right Man and Right Woman as a unit - not two separate individuals.  Granted individual volition is not compromised, but the Right Man - Right Woman pair are judged together as if they were on a teeter totter.  Either one can affect the delicate balance and cause the other to tumble.  They can have a wonderful time together or spend their lives fighting for the supremacy of the teeter totter.  When the Lord, the divine administrator of marriage, judges either one, then the other one is hurt also.  When one hurts, both hurt.  When one is blessed, both are blessed.  It is just like the human body.  When one part hurts, all the body suffers. But when we are happy, even our bones tingle.

When the man and the woman stay on the stage of life inside the Grace Support System, the Holy Spirit protects them as a Divine Dynasphere (power sphere).  However, when either one enters the Cosmic System of Satan, the other will enter suffering.  Of course, there are Problem Solving Devices available to support the believer to handle any exigency.  Proper use of the Problem Solving Devices will convert the suffering into blessing.  The stage of life is like a mini Garden of Eden.  Nothing gets onto that stage unless the divine security system allows it.  The divine security system is operated primarily by the Holy Spirit with the support of the Elect Angels.  Corps of angels guard the gates of the stage of life.  No one enters or exits without their permission.

So, with all the support, why aren't more people hitting home runs every day?  The answer is:  Grace is the issue - not home runs; just as the topic we are trying to present - Marriage Grace.  The purpose of the believer is to grow in grace.  God is glorified when believers execute His Plan by utilizing the Grace Support System.  He could provide a miracle anytime; but the Grace Support System is better than a miracle.  When the man and the woman learn to teeter totter together without banging each other around, the Lord will advance them into more grace.  They will receive greater grace blessing.

In the Church Age, grace promotion in marriage can actually take the couple to a place of love and happiness like the Garden of Eden.  The filling of the Spirit in the power of the edified soul (Integrity Envelope) of the mature believer can actually take believers back to the Garden of Eden in their marriage.  All the power of Eden is at our disposal if we want to take advantage of it.  The illustration of the Teeter Totter shows ladders which form the sides of an isosceles triangle with the Teeter Totter as its base.  The advance up the isosceles triangle is accomplished by grace promotion of the believer who is experientially sanctified through the daily perception and application of Bible Doctrine.

Advance up the isosceles triangle is possible if either member of the marriage unit is a believer in the Church Age.  Every believer in the Church Age, male or female, is a priest.  Through the priesthood of the believer, each believer has direct access to the Throne of Grace in heaven.  The Lord Jesus Christ is seated there.  He is both the Advocate (defense attorney) and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Heaven.  The believer who is positive to Bible Doctrine can secure the blessing of God upon his marriage  and  his family.  Temporary vacations from marriage are legitimate so the believer can devote himself to the function of his priesthood (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Marriage should be executed by means of the grace provision of the Grace Support System.  The mystery doctrine of the Church Age must be obeyed in marriage (for the believer).  Wives should submit to the authority of their husbands:

Wives are commanded to obey their husbands "as to the Lord."  Here is the Lord, the Administrator of marriage, again.  This phrase means wives should obey their husbands in obedience to doctrine.  They should execute the Plan of God in marriage.  This will take the marriage back to the Garden.

Moses used the head and tail analogy, which is directly applicable to response to the Grace of God in marriage.  He also taught cycles of national prosperity and cycles of discipline related to the head and tail analogy.

Bathshebah taught Solomon some very important principles about execution of Bible Doctrine in marriage.

In Proverbs 31:3 Solomon was warned about the dangers of Phallic Reversionism.  Departure from the Right Woman will lead to Reversionistic discipline that includes the loss of the strength of the soul.  The word for "strength" is Hebrew, ly!j^ (chajil), which means strength, ability, efficiency, capacity for life.  The word is used for heroes of strength and mighty men of valor (Joshua 1:14; 1 Samuel 16:18).  So whereas, this verse may imply a prohibition of illicit sex, it is really about loss of the strength of the Integrity Envelope in the soul, which provides capacity for life.

She continues with a description of the corresponding virtue in the Right Woman:

Here the word for "strength" is Hebrew, zou (`oz), which is correctly translated.  But how can a woman gird her loins with strength?  Now the loins are the place of her sexual response;  but what she is supposed to use to gird them must come from the soul.  So, what on earth does this mean?  It means that the woman's soul is naked, just as if her loins were exposed, unless she clothes her soul with her Right Man.  She must have the doctrine of Right Man in her soul, and she must be occupied with him (applying doctrine).  Strength refers to the strength of the Right Woman's response to her Right Man only.  It refers to the strength of her bond of marriage to her Right Man.  It refers to capacity for life, capacity for sexual life, the strength of the Integrity Envelope in her soul.

Edification Complex of SoulFrom Bathshebah we learn that the soul has a strength that clothes the most intimate response of soul and body.  The soul has an Intimacy Room where the Right Man or Right Woman lives.  When the Right Man or Right Woman meet, they take up occupancy in the respective homes in the soul of each other, the Intimacy Rooms.  The Intimacy Room is more of the Grace provision for Marriage.

Now, the love in the Right Man - Right Woman relationship is unparalleled if Bible Doctrine is executed in the life of the believer.

In this verse husbands are commanded to love their wives "as Christ loved the church."  Now, this is not a soulish love.  It is a divine, spiritual love from God.  This means that the husband can have love from God for his wife.  This is the most profound love that exists on earth.  This love will be called Marriage Intimacy Love.  How does the husband get this love?  He gets it by signing on to the Server in heaven.  The Lord will then download that love into the cup in the soul of the mature believer.  A cup is required.  The cup is the same as the fruit of the Spirit, which is love (Galatians 5:22).  The cup is part of the Integrity Envelope.

The husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church and "gave Himself as a substitute for her."  But this is the substitutionary spiritual death of Christ on the cross.  Greater love has no man than that he lay down his life for his friends.  The husband must be willing to die for his wife.  This is the test of true love.  And, if he advances in grace, he will get the opportunity to prove this.  How?  He will get eclipse testing.  The woman will put his lights out.  He will have to withstand this test with the thin ring of light (symbolizing the marriage covenant) that he will have to withstand this supreme test.  Then, perhaps, he will be able to prove what Adam did not; and that is that Bible Doctrine in the soul is capable of solving the problems of marriage.  This will clearly prove the grace of God in the life of the believer and its efficacy to handle the exigencies of life.

Divine Design

The Lord Jesus Christ built (hn*B*, banah, Genesis 2:22) the first right woman from Adam's rib. This was the model at creation that established the divine precedent.  The Lord Jesus Christ personally builds the right woman for the right man.  This means perfect design, perfect fit, which require the right DNA gene combinations.  Granted there are inherited characteristics from the parents, but the combination belongs to the Lord, who has a divine plan in mind.  Race or ethnic group is not an issue. The scripture for the Church Age does not prohibit marriage to someone of a different race.

However, divine design does not stop with the physical body.  The souls of Right Man - Right Woman are also designed to match. Only the right man fits the soul of the right woman, and only the soul of the right woman fits the soul of the right man.  It is as if they have built in homing devices.  It is a double encryption like a lock and a key (or encoding with key).  Once the two come together, the pager goes off in both; and from then on they will never be content with any substitutes.  Whereas paramours may cause distraction, they will only frustrate.

Right Man and Right Woman also have a spiritual relationship.  They are allocated a spiritual life together in the Plan of God.  They are not two separate individuals, but members of a team, parts of the same whole in their spiritual life.  The play on the stage of life stars the Right Man and Right Woman.  Other members of the cast only support.  All relationships with the outside world are with the couple as a team - not individuals.  The spiritual bond of Right Man - Right Woman is divine design.  It cannot be dissolved by anything in this life.

Right Man - Right Woman cannot be separated in this life.  Only death breaks the link.  This means that as soon as the baby is born, it has an opposite number allocated.  The bond between the Right Man and Right Woman is stronger than family ties.

The principle was established from the beginning.  Although the child is born into a family, it will one day leave the family and marry.  The man is expected to cut the umbilical chord, get a job, and prepare a place for his future wife.  The woman can live at home, prepare through spiritual growth, and later marry the Right Man.  Although the Right Man and Right Woman have a closer tie than with parents, when they are still children living at home, they are under the authority of their parents.  Even if the adult woman stays home, she must obey her parents.  However, there is nothing in the Bible that prevents an adult woman from leaving home and engaging in business.  When she leaves home, she is not under the authority of her parents.

Marriage Grace is the will of God.  The Grace Support System provides the divine support required to deliver Marriage Grace to the human race.  The divine design of Right Man and Right Woman add the third element to fulfill the will of God.  The Right Man and Right Woman must be afforded access to the Plan of God Server in order to know the will of God in the marriage relationship.  Since marriage is not just physical and soulish, but also a spiritual union (holy matrimony), man and woman need spiritual access to God.

The Lord Jesus Christ in His substitutionary spiritual death on the cross reconciled man to God. There is nothing to separate man from God except man's negative volition.  Anyone who wants a relationship with God can have it by means of faith in Christ.  At the moment of faith in Christ, the Baptism of the Holy Spirit provides spiritual regeneration to enable the born again Christian to have fellowship with God.  Fellowship with God, which is the same as the Filling of the Spirit, in the Church Age means that man can know the will of God.  He can know the will of God regarding the marriage relationship.  He can find out who the right one is and what the Plan of God is for his marriage.

Marriage Relationships Womb to Tomb


In grace, God does the work.  His work for marriage begins in the womb.  When the fetus develops, He fashions it for the marriage partner.  The type was established in the Garden when He fashioned Adam from clay and woman, Hebrew hv*a! ('Ishah) from Adam's rib.  Sizes, dimensions, and bone structure for the Right Man and Right Woman match.  Thus, there is a correlation between the DNA of Right Man and Right Woman.  Before the soul is given life at birth, the Lord Jesus Christ has to oversee the formation of a body to exact specifications.  Along with inherited characteristics from parents, the combination of genes is controlled by the Holy Spirit to produce the precise model of Right Man and Right Woman.  Although the genes of the parents are the raw material, the combination depends upon the future marriage partner.


At birth, the soul is given human life.  The soul is encoded to match the future partner.  One day, Right Man and Right Woman will meet, and from then on, they will reside in the other's souls.  This requires encoding so that the wrong one is rejected by the soul and the right one is accepted.  The baby has an intimate relationship with its mother.  This relationship is the most intimate experience a person will ever have until the soul mate is encountered.  As the child grows to maturity, it will go through life seeking a relationship to replace the mother's intimacy.  It will not find that until the soul mate is discovered.


As the child matures, God and angels watch over the child to protect it for the future marriage.  Everyone is allocated at least one guardian angel.  These elect angels protect the child from the hazards and evil of the Angelic Conflict.  Children are very sensitive about love relationships, although they have very little stability due to immaturity.  By age five, they will begin to select favorites of the opposite sex - boyfriends and girlfriends.  Where do they get this idea?  Granted, parents, friends, movies may influence this behavior, but the child believes that the love relationship with the opposite sex will provide happiness.  This behavior occurs early in childhood because after the child is weaned, it begins seeking its marriage counterpart.

Childhood is marked by two types of relationships that are related to marriage.  The two types of relationship are designed to develop capacity for love and capacity for sexual life.  The child has very little maturity in love, but from an early age, begins to express soul love.  Similarly, the child develops sexual expression.  Granted, there is no real sex before puberty; but sexual and sensual stimulation is very much part of the life of a child.  Before puberty love relationships and expressions of sexuality are part of childhood.  The child is searching for a missing part of its life - Right Man or Right Woman.

Much of the fantasy of childhood is not fantasy at all, but nearer the reality of the future love relationship than most would ever imagine.  God in His grace prepares the child for the future marriage partner.  Childhood experiences related to love and sexuality are part of the maturing process.  The Lord Jesus Christ controls history.  He oversees the experiences of childhood to prepare the Right Man and Right Woman for each other.  If this did not occur, when the two met later in life, they would have little in common and would likely be unable to sustain a relationship.  The Lord Jesus Christ, as the personnel director of marriage, plays a very active role in overseeing childhood.

The childhood experiences of love are designed to point the way to the Right Woman, and the experiences of sexuality are designed to point the way to Right Man.  The former is designed to develop capacity for love and the latter capacity for sexual life.  When Right Man and Right Woman come together, these two things have to match; otherwise, the two will be like two ships that pass in the night.  Childhood is a very active quest for Right Man - Right Woman.


At the time of puberty, the tempo of the search for Right Man - Right Woman increases rapidly.  The teen years are a time of frantic search for the right mate.  The number one thought in the mind of the teen is sex, and the number two thought is love; or vice versa for some.  The teen years are a time of emotional instability due to not having Right Man or Right Woman in the life.  The Right Man or Right Woman is the only one who can satisfy the soul's longing.  The soul that is without its mate has a void, which is full of darkness and the source of emotional instability.  The need for Right Man - Right Woman is so a powerful that the soul without this relationship is crippled and emotionally unstable.  The hormonal imbalances of teens pale in comparison with the soul trauma.

Teens are in the attraction phase of romance, which means they are seeking physical identification of the right mate.  In other words, they are trying to find the right one so they can have the peace of mind of knowing their destiny.  Almost everyone in the human race shares this fantasy of finding the right one.  Almost any subject in the Bible will raise a heated debate; but this one is different.  Everyone seems to naturally accept it.  The teen culture is a thrust to meet the right one; and the soul cannot rest until that is accomplished.  All the activities of social and private life are related to a search for the soul mate.

This is all the grace of God, the fulfillment of Marriage Grace.  What began in the womb has escalated in the teens to a fever pitch.  As long as the void exists in the soul due to the absence of the soul mate, teens are frustrated.  And God is overseeing it all.  The Lord Jesus Christ is the personnel director who has to maneuver the teenager through the mine field across no man's land to preserve the teen for the Right Man or Right Woman.  The typical teen is simply a person fulfilling the principle of Marriage Grace as the fundamental expression in life.  No relationship is so powerful; and the teen with an adult body is striving to fulfill divine design and achieve the divinely ordained destiny.  And God is watching over it all to insure that it happens, and that the teen does not become a casualty in the Angelic Conflict, the victim of evil, or lost in darkness.

Is there any hope for the teen years to minimize the effects of the dilemma of needing but not having the marriage partner?  Yes, God thought of this long before He created anyone.  Bible Doctrine in the soul is an effective stabilizer that can serve as a substitute for the missing counterpart in the soul.  The Plan of God is entirely adequate - i.e. there is a solution.  Nothing ever catches God off guard, and this is no exception.  The teen can substitute a relationship with God for the missing relationship of the soul mate.   The ten Problem Solving Devices of the Church Age are entirely adequate to handle any problem in life, and the teen dilemma is included.

Life without the soul mate as a teen is a form of suffering, and the wild frantic searches for happiness that lead to sexual frustration need not enslave the Christian teen.  No suffering ever comes into the life for which the divine solution is not available:

Personal love for God can be substituted for the missing Right Man or Right Woman in the soul of the teen and Impersonal Love for all mankind can be used to prevent soul break down from illicit personal love relationships with paramours.  The teen with Bible Doctrine in the soul will be able to understand the spiritual issues on the stage of life in the Plan of God and separate the truth from the impostor's lie.  He will be able to reject the false, avoid the snares of the Cosmic System, and survive the world's enticements to wait for the destiny of meeting the right one.  Bible Doctrine in the soul is the only means of surviving the suffering of the teen years without injury.

The Bible is full of examples of teens who used Bible Doctrine to overcome trials and tribulations.  Joseph was seventeen when he was sold into slavery in Egypt.  He survived to become Prime Minister of Egypt and marry an Egyptian princess.  David sat alone with the sheep (unloved by his parents) as a teen as God prepared him to become the greatest king in the history of Israel.  Daniel survived slavery as a teen to become great in the Chaldean Empire.  Shadrach, Meshack and Abed-nego survived the fiery furnace (Daniel 3).  Teens survived the Death March after the fall of Jerusalem in 586 BC (Psalm 119).  Teens can, indeed, survive the devil's world and protect their future marriage relationship.

Today's frustrated teens are examples of the concept of Marriage Grace.  Those who reject the teaching of Bible Doctrine will not survive the teen years intact.  They will forever damage their future marriage relationship.  The rules of marriage established in the Word of God, e.g. avoid fornication, are there for a reason.  To succumb to the temptations of the Old Sin Nature is to damage one's soul because the discipline for this is intensified discipline (the second of three major phases of divine discipline:  Warning Discipline, Intensified Discipline, and Sin Unto Death).  The Bible is full of warnings to avoid such pitfalls.

Only the Right Man or Right Woman can satisfy the soul.  No substitute will work.  When a person fornicates or engages is some form of sexual sublimation, he is sinning against his own body and his future mate.  Those who fornicate will enter intensified discipline.  They will be stuck in the attraction phase of romance to be the pawn paramours since they will lack the capacity for sexual life to resist temptation.  Fornication is a vicious sin since it makes it impossible to sustain the marriage relationship due to slavery to the Cosmic System.  Those who are stuck in the attraction phase are like the Internet sex junkies, who are forever frustrated and never find true love and happiness from the right one.

Sex is not an activity that requires profound wisdom, although profound wisdom is perhaps required to understand the purpose of sex.  Sex is for procreation, but that is not its primary purpose.  It was the gift of God for marital happiness in the Garden long before procreation was an issue.  Sex is a special gift from God to provide the Right Man and Right Woman in marriage with pleasure and intimacy.  It is the most intimate relationship in life.  It surpasses the bond between the mother and the baby.  Since the previous closest experience was the bonding of the child with its mother, sex is not an expression of adulthood.  On the contrary, it is more like returning to childhood.  So the common prohibition of our day, "for adults only,"  should more appropriately be labeled "a place for childishness," or something similar.  Marriage demands the utmost of adult maturity; but sex is certainly not a shining example of adult expression.


For most people the twenties are the time they enter their chosen profession.  They enter the work force and begin career paths.  Since this is a time of beginning long range plans, it is not unusual that many people choose to get married.  They have done some thinking and concluded that they know what they want.  They race to the altar in most cases without a clue about what marriage is really like; and the statistics verify that a large majority (approaching 50%, ref. statistics) were wrong.  Those who have the courage and can find a willing partner, often take the plunge.

Most of the newlyweds honestly believe they are in love.  Yet, the love cools off, and the divorces are vicious reversals - full of bitterness.  Most marriages fail within four years.  So what happened?  Well, there are many reasons, and there is no reason to add some more.  The Apostle, Paul, advised against racing to get married, but who listens to Paul.  After all, he was single.  Yet, the statistics prove that he was right.

Most people in their twenties are in the Attraction Phase of romance, which means they are still looking.  They are making decisions based upon physical appearances.  That is obvious from looking at the wedding photos.  The bone structure does not match.  They are obviously not Right Man - Right Woman.  The attractive ones generally get married in the twenties, since they are always the first chosen.  Now, there is nothing wrong with being attractive; but physical attraction should not be the consideration for marriage.  Right Man - Right Woman should be the issue.

The relationship with the grace Plan of God over the life of a person requires that the testing of different phases be passed.  The apostle John used this analogy for the phases of the spiritual life, which he related to "children", "young men," and "fathers" (1 John 2:12-14).  Reversing the analogy, the twenties generally require that the believer pass the test of separation from the world.  Regardless of  progress during the teens, some tests of experiential sanctification cannot be passed because they have not yet occurred.  For example, the spiritual testing associated with the job or with marriage cannot be passed until the individual arrives in the situation, which probably will not occur until the twenties.

So the twenties, in general, are a time of entering life as a member of the establishment.  Age 20 was the draft age in Israel.  In the USA it is the age of adulthood (age 21).  During the twenties, the spiritual tests of the world and the establishment must be passed.  Regardless of being considered an adult, the individual is not yet tested and proven.  So this is the beginner phase of life; and the spiritual testing of overcoming the world must be passed.  So for anyone to embark upon marriage during this critical juncture of life is somewhat stupid according to the apostle Paul, who said, "such will have stress testing from (the disadvantage of) the flesh (Old Sin Nature)" (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Marriage is a problem manufacturing device.  The power and intimacy associated with the relationship demands spiritual maturity, which those in their twenties usually do not have.  So for those naive enough to challenge the wisdom of Paul, the problems are terrible and the casualty rate is high.  The first wave who go to the altar suffer about 50% casualties.


The thirties are a time of becoming a strong member of the establishment.  This is a time of spiritual warfare.  The Christian must fulfill the responsibilities of his Royal Priesthood.  This involves spiritual warfare.  The apostle John described this phase as "young men" who had "overcome the evil one" (1 John 2:13).  Spiritual warfare per Ephesians 6:10-18 must be passed during the thirties; else their will be death in the wilderness as was the case of the Exodus generation.  So the thirties are not a good time for marriage, as the time of war never is.

Nevertheless, during the thirties, the second wave heads for the altar.  These consist of the rejects (those who didn't get asked) and the divorcees from the twenties.  The attractive people went first in the twenties.  Those who waited were probably looking for love, i.e. the soulish side of the relationship in lieu of the physical.  Well, for the record, the soul never got anything right yet.  The soul of man is one of the most mixed up and confused devices ever to plague the human race.  Why?  Isn't love from the soul?  Oh, yes, along with misconceptions, confusion, distraction, and a myriad of other deficiencies.  The problem with the soul is that it exists in no-man's land between the body and the heavens.  It never has an original thought.  It belongs to a created being.  How could anything created be independent?

Suffice it to say that the soul always gets its advice from one of two sources:  God or Satan.  Ultimately every thought, every motivation, every action was influence either by God or the devil.  So the soul must decide to submit to one or the other.  If we submit to God, then through the spiritual life, truth can be fathomed; but only the spirit of man in fellowship with the Holy Spirit can arrive at truth.  The soul without the spirit is doomed to slavery to the Cosmic System.  If anyone is not submitted to God, then he is under the power of the Cosmic System; and the conclusions of the soul in the Cosmic System are false.

So, the thirties are more troublesome than the twenties due to the intensity of spiritual warfare in the intensified stage the Angelic Conflict, the Church Age.  Those who wait till the thirties to get married will be plagued with problems.  The divorcees bring with them bitterness in the soul, which is a lurking monster.  The Right Man - Right Woman relationship is a powerful relationship under the Grace Support System and those who abuse it will be punished severely by the Supreme Court of Heaven.  The underlying cause of many divorces is due to being married to the wrong man or wrong woman.  In order to sustain such a relationship, then the Right Man or Woman must be stiff armed, i.e. held off.  The soul accomplishes this with bitterness toward the right one so that the relationship with the wrong one can be sustained.  Those with the lurking monster of bitterness are double trouble for the marriage relationship.

So marriage during the thirties is comparable to the soul which is full of love's illusions.  Those who wait till the thirties to marry will have bigger problems than those in their twenties.  The problems will be related to spiritual warfare and the unseen enemy (Ephesians 6:12).  The thirties produce the second wave of marriage casualties, divorces and dysfunctional marriages - all compounded by children and step children.  So the thirties are a bad time for marriage.


The forties are a time of maximum divine discipline as per the forty years of wilderness wanderings of the Exodus generation.  During the forties, suffering arrives either due to accumulated failure of bad decisions or as qualification for the blessings of maturity.  Those who have rejected the grace of God will find it catching up with them by the forties.  Youth has a way of hiding the problems of life; but by the forties, reversionists begin to reap what they have sown.  They sow to the wind and reap the whirlwind (Proverbs 1:27; Hosea 8:7; Nahum 1:3).  So the forties are a time of festering wounds from previous divorces and the problems of this life as well as suffering.

The forties should be a time of adulthood - i.e. maturity.  In the spiritual life, this corresponds to passing the momentum tests of suffering to qualify for the blessings of maturity. The person in his forties must demonstrate through maximum testing his qualifications.  Thus, the forties are a time of momentum testing and suffering to qualify for the blessings of maturity.  After the test to become strong in the thirties, the person in his forties must demonstrate that he can handle the tests of suffering.  Only by handling both prosperity and adversity can anyone qualify for the promotion to Spiritual Maturity with its responsibilities.


Those in their fifties are expected to be mature and, in addition, prosperous.  These are the ones who should be qualified for the responsibilities of management and leadership.  These should be the seasoned veterans who are capable of handling any challenge.  The fifties should be a time of reaping the rewards of a life of success.  The fifties should bring the blessings of maturity. The fifties should demonstrate the relationship between Christ and the Church; and what better way to do that than by marriage?  So, the ideal time to get married in the Church Age should be in maturity, which is represented by the fifties.

Is this absurd?  Not exactly,  Ruth and Boaz demonstrated this.  He was perhaps 50 and she was in her early twenties.  The relationship was obviously very prosperous.  Then there is another example, Abraham, who did not receive marriage prosperity until he was 100 years old.  Only one member of marriage relationship needs to be in maturity in order for God to bless the relationship.  The man who goes ahead and gets to maturity before marrying will not be disappointed.  Similarly, the woman who gets to maturity sanctifies the marriage relationship and qualifies the marriage for blessing.

Only those individuals in spiritual maturity will be capable of going back to the Garden of Eden in their marriage experience; and that is possible in the Church Age due to the encapsulated environment of the Holy Spirit.  Blessing in the spiritual life comes at maturity.  To marry before then will only add additional, stressful problems that hinder the advance to maturity.  The fifties are symbolic of the "fathers" who are in Occupation with Christ (1 John 2:13).  These are believers who have reached spiritual adulthood.  Of course, physical age does not determine spiritual maturity.  So, the important thing is to get to maturity to achieve blessing in life as well as marriage.


Those in their sixties have learned that marriage is not a panacea.  They have learned about the shortcomings of this world and understand the consequences of bad decisions.  They should be serious and without illusion.  Those in their sixties should be able to testify regarding the veracity of the the teachings of the Word of God.  The distinction between successes and failures (winners and losers) should be obvious by the sixties.  Those who have been seasoned by obedience to the teachings of the Word of God and sanctified through the experiences of the spiritual life will stand out as dignified successes; whereas, all others will be losers.

The sixties should bear witness of two of life's false doctrines:  (1) That money buys happiness, and (2) that marriage brings happiness.  They may also be able to testify that it is possible to be happy with money and within the restrictions of marriage.


The seventies should be full of wisdom - not of this world but of the magnificent truths of that grace of God.  The member of the Royal Family of God who advances into the seventies should be a living demonstration of royalty - and every king needs his queen, or what would royalty be?  The seventies demonstrate maturity as no other age.  Those in the seventies have survived and conquered.  They have demonstrated through Evidence Testing the Righteousness of God in condemning Satan in the Angelic Conflict.  They are living testimony that Bible Doctrine works.


Those in their eighties demonstrate the strength of faith.  They demonstrate the faithfulness of being true to the end.  They demonstrate endurance.  When others were distracted and pealed off, they remained true; and they will have the testimony of a distance runner.  They have completed the marathon, faced every trial, and demonstrated the sufficiency of Bible Doctrine to handle every exigency of life.

The true test of service is not the one who has a few big successes; but the one who is loyal to the end.  Those in their eighties demonstrate the meaning of "well done thou good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21, KJV).  The endurance test is the greatest test of strength; and those in the eighties are the living testimony of the truth.


The nineties are a time of heaven on earth.  Nothing in this life speaks so loudly as a married couple in their nineties.  When they hold hands, the angels serenade.  Those in the nineties look forward to the exit from this life through dying grace and meeting the Right Man, the Lord Jesus Christ, the perfect love relationship, in a place of no more sorrows, no more tears.  And death of a spouse marks the end of the marriage relationship.  When one partner dies, the marriage ceases.  Nothing in this life can stop it except death.


AUTHOR  Larry Wood

Revised September 23, 2013