The Story of Right Woman

Ruth is the story of Right Woman. The simple love story is key to understanding the Plan of God, love, and marriage as revealed in the scripture. So simple, yet so powerful when understood, this book is dedicated to the scriptural explanation of Right Man/Right Woman as related from the perspective of Right Woman. The scriptural explanation of romance bears no resemblance to the worldly viewpoint of courtship and marriage. The story of Ruth is one of the most powerful love stories ever told.





Divine Order of Precedent

The order of precedent for the Divine Institution of Marriage was established in the Garden of Eden, and it has never changed. The essential elements of that relationship were:
  1. The Lord created the right woman for the right man (Gen. 2:21-22).
  2. The Lord brought the right woman to the right man (Gen. 2:22b).
  3. The right man identified the right woman (and was delighted) (Gen. 2:23).
  4. The Lord Jesus Christ performed the wedding ceremony (Gen. 2:22-24).
  5. The marriage was consummated with sex (Gen. 2:24-25).
We can learn much from this because it has never changed. The Lord Jesus Christ still creates the woman for the man. She is built to specifications to fit the man physically, soulishly, and spiritually just as hv*a! ('Ishah) (Adam's right woman) in the Garden. So why worry, men or women, about having a right man or right woman? Man and woman are incomplete without their right partner. The Lord never built them to be single in the first place. Divine design has provided the perfect solution if we can just allow it without getting in the way!

The whole thing is very simple if we leave it to the grace of God. He took everything into consideration during the formation of the DNA before birth. We were born to match someone else. Man is not complete without the woman; neither is the woman without the man (1 Corinthians 11:11). So a solution exists in the Plan of God - not just good intentions, but in reality. Every man or woman has a built-in relationship with their opposite number from birth. So when a child is born, it is born to relate to another human, which will one day culminate in the marriage relationship.

The body that comes from the womb is not designed to profile mother or father, but Right Man/Right Woman. The first sucking that uniquely characterizes every child is not for mother but for Right Man/Right Woman. The gene combinations were not a chance of nature, but the craftsmanship of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Creator of all things. So when women are cooing over a newborn babe and say that he has Dad's nose or eyes or some other silly thing, they are wrong! The baby has a body designed for its opposite number - Right Man/Right Woman.

We can learn many other things from the Garden. The Lord brought the woman to the man. So how should we try to find Right Man/Right Woman? We shouldn't worry about it. We don't have to date around, become socialites, go to bars, or run ads. The meeting is handled exclusively by the personnel director, the Lord Jesus Christ, who escorts the Right Woman to the Right Man. If the believer is executing the Plan of God, then the right one will come along at the right time. The big problem, however, is that Christians are not executing the Plan of God; so their opposite number may never be recognized even when they do pass.

So how can one recognize Right Man or Right Woman? The bone structure of the face and body is the first clue. Look for a match. Of course, many people look alike. Some people are almost doubles; so, a little extra help is in order. With Adam it was no problem, since Ishah was the only woman on earth, but we need extra help; and God the Holy Spirit provides that help. Whenever we lack wisdom, He serves as our personal counselor. Just ask, and the answer will be there. Now, unless the person who asks is operating in the Filling of the Spirit, it won't work. Neither will the question be heard by God nor will the answer be given. Even when the answer is given, it can only be recognized in the Filling of the Spirit.

Adam and the Ishah identified each other in the Garden. At least one of them (which was Adam in this case) knew the score. Nothing has changed. Unless either Right Man or Right Woman knows the score, the chances of this fantastic relationship ever transpiring are next to nil. Adam was prepared, established, educated, and ready to have a true love relationship when Ishah came along. God's timing is the right time. We don't have to get pushy. Some people find the right one when they are young, and some must wait till they are older. But God decides the right time - not us. The Creator decides - not the creation.

The next important lesson we can learn from the Garden is that sex came after the wedding ceremony - not before. Sex was the consummation of the marriage. Sex was the exclusive right of marriage - not an experiment to sample the goods beforehand. Sex was designed for one person only in one relationship only; and that was marriage. The Lord created the man and the woman so they could have sex. He invented sex. Also note, there was no lust in the Garden before sin. There was perfect love and sex was the expression of that love. And the love and the sex were perfect. Sex was for recreation - not procreation. There were no perversions - just intimate love and super sex. Mankind did not need any alternatives or any handbooks or counselors to figure this thing out. And that has never changed.

The Importance of the Book of Ruth

The book of Ruth is important because it establishes the origin of the Davidic Dynasty. David was the greatest king of Israel. The Davidic Covenant establishes his throne forever and will be fulfilled in the Millennium under the New Covenant to Israel. In addition, the book of Ruth appears to be a simple love story. However, it is much more because it establishes the doctrine of Right Man/Right Woman for Israel. The book of Ruth is the story of Right Man/Right Woman from the perspective of the woman. In it is the precedent for Paul's spiritual analogy of the relationship between Church-Age believers as the virgin bride and the Head of the Church, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Right Man.

The dedication of an entire book to the subject of Right Woman in Israel is a significant part of the Old Covenant (Old Testament) Canon. Right Woman is an important doctrine because the congregation of Israel was symbolically the wife of Jehovah (the LORD). In this metaphor, the believer in Israel was the Right Woman and the LORD was the Right Man. This love relationship was the most important relationship per the most important commandment: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might" (Deut. 6:5, 11:13; Mark 12:30). Marriage, which illustrates this relationship, is thus very important. The entire book of Ruth is dedicated to revealing the Divine Institution of Marriage and Right Man/Right Woman.


Historical Setting

According to the timeline, the book of Ruth could have occurred during the latter days of Gideon. There was a famine in the land of Israel, which led one of the men of Israel to emigrate with his family to Moab. Here we see how the Lord Jesus Christ, who controls history, engineered the circumstances to bring about His Plan. The Plan of God called for the birth of a great king, i.e. David. In order to provide this King, God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that David would come from a Moabite woman instead of a Jewish one. We know that the vigor of a people is often improved by mixing the blood line with another; but whether, this is the reason God decided upon the Moabite woman, we don't know. The Hebrew name in the Old Covenant to Israel (Old Testament) is always a clue to the calling, or destiny, of the individual. Thus, i=l#m#yl!a$ (Elimelech), is a combination of two words, la@  (El) (God), and i=l#m# (melek, king); thus, it means "to whom God is king." This is the origin of the dynasty of David. Before there were human kings in Israel, God was the only leader. Later, Israel would have human kings; and David would be the second and greatest. ym!u(n` (Naomi) means "the gracious."1  Mahlon,  /wl)j=m^  (Machlon from original) means weak and sickly. And Chilion,  /wy{l=k! , means consumption (wasting away). The names of the boys predicted their early demise. Ruth is a Moabite name and cannot be established with certainty from its transliteration into Hebrew. However from the context, Ruth will become a name synonymous with Right Woman.

Elimelech soon died in Moab and the two sons married Moabite women. Machlon, the elder, married Ruth (Ruth 1:3-4). However, soon both Machlon and Chilion died also. Now Naomi was left alone with her two daughters-in-law, but without a man they were unable to make a living. So they were forced to return to Bethlehem, Naomi's old hometown.

The total time Naomi was in Moab was about ten years (Ruth 1:4). Ruth's approximate age can be surmised from this. The earliest she would have been married would have been age 14 (which would not be unusual for the Moabites); otherwise, due to promiscuity, the girl would often not have been a virgin at the time of marriage. If the family were in Moab 5 years before Machlon married Ruth, then Ruth would have been 19 at the time. It is probably reasonable to assume that she was 19 to 24 at the time of the return to Bethlehem.

Separation from the World

Naomi decided to leave Moab because she had heard that there was food available in Judah (Ruth 1:6). As she left Moab, Ruth and Orpah (the other sister-in-law) were accompanying her (Ruth 1:7). Naomi demanded that the daughters-in-law go home to their mothers, since she did not need them to look after her. Orpah decided to go back. Here is the picture that is so prevalent. Orpah had become a believer, but instead of pressing on to maturity, she turned back to the world and to her old ways. To return to Moab meant to return to slavery to Satan's cosmic system. In Moab, the people worshipped the gods - primarily Chemosh (Nu. 21:29; Judg. 11:24; 1 Ki. 11:33; 2 Ki 23:13; Jer. 48:7, 13, 46), whose worship was similar to Baal and included burning children as sacrifices. During the wilderness wanderings the gods of Moab had been responsible for the worst plagues and judgment on Israel (Num. 22-25). The gods of idolatry always take two forms as did the Moabite gods: The gods of war and the gods of love. Thus, returning to Moab meant returning to an evil nation. The nation of Moab came from the incest between Lot and his elder daughter (Genesis 19:30-38). The return to Moab is a symbol of reversionism (turning back from the Plan of God to follow a worldly alternative).

Ruth, however, refused to turn back. As a believer in Jehovah-Elohim, she refused to stay in Moab, a symbol of the world, but chose, instead, to go with Naomi to the Promised Land. Ruth took a solemn oath of dedication to Naomi, the Jews, and God.

At this point Ruth demonstrated her understanding of Bible Doctrine and made a spiritual decision to separate from the world. She was executing the Plan of God by application of Bible Doctrine to experience. In order to reach this point in her spiritual life, she had to first make daily decisions to get Bible Doctrine and believe it on the basis of faith. Then she had to decide to apply that doctrine to her life. This is experiential sanctification, the purpose of the life of the believer. This decision of Ruth will take her to her right man, who is waiting for her in Bethlehem. Ruth decided to leave Moab behind, along with her family, friends, and way of life.  She turned her back on her country and all that she knew in order to follow Naomi and a new life in fellowship with God.  She was willing to follow Naomi to the point of death.  The bond of love was as strong as death.  In following Naomi, she was demonstrating one of the characteristics of a right woman.  She was protecting Naomi's back side as a rear guard.  When the right man leads, the right woman must watch his back, which is the blind side.
  Principle: In following Naomi, Ruth is watching her back side as a rear guard.

Ruth is Brought to Her Right Man

Per the divine order of precedent, the Lord Jesus Christ escorted Ruth to her Right Man. The circumstances involved clearly demonstrate how far the Lord will go to fulfill the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. When the story of Ruth began, Ruth was a Moabite (different race) who lived in Moab and her right man was a Jew who lived in Judah. In order to bring her to her right man, there had to be a famine in Israel, a Jewish family had to emigrate to Moab, Ruth had to marry a Jewish man, two women had to be barren, three men had to die, and Naomi's household had to become bankrupt. Furthermore, Ruth, a Moabite had to be positive to Bible Doctrine and execute the Plan of God.

Ruth and Naomi came to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest, which began with the Feast of Firstfruits, the day after Passover. Passover was celebrated on the 14th day of the first month of the Jewish calendar, which corresponds to March-April. Thus, Passover would fall approximately April 1. At harvest time almost everyone was working in the field harvesting the barley. Since, Naomi and Ruth were bankrupt, Ruth decided to get a job as a gleaner. Gleaners were poor women peasants who followed the reapers and picked up straw (stalks of barley) that were dropped. Gleaners were like migrant laborers, Chinese peasants, or Russian peasants, who worked in the fields of others at harvest time. On her first day on the job, Ruth wound up in a field belonging to Boaz, her right man. She had traveled from a foreign country, received permission to work as a peasant and was waiting for him (per the Plan of God) when he arrived for work that morning.

In working as a gleaner, Ruth was demonstrating humility, her willingness to do menial labor for the one she loved.  She would follow the reapers and pick up the straw that was left behind.  She labored from daylight to dark to gather enough barley to make bread for her and Naomi.


Boaz Meets His Right Woman

Boaz is described as "a man of great wealth" (Ruth 2:1, NAS). However, the Hebrew is much more descriptive. He was, ly!j^ rwB)G! vya! ('ish gibbor chajil) vya! ('ish) (man, right man), rwB)G! (gibbor) (heroic, mighty, noble), ly!j^ (chajil) (efficiency, wealth). Thus, the better translation is "a great, noble leader." Boaz was an aristocrat and entrepreneur with not just management skills but leadership ability. He had great ability as an agriculturist. He managed a large estate. He would be able to manage a large corporation today.

His leadership ability as revealed in the book of Ruth was magnificent. He managed women in the workplace, established policy on sexual harassment, managed an estate, and was a brilliant lawyer. He is one of those rare and gifted leaders, who because history dealt him no crisis, never became famous. If one can imagine what great leaders like Douglas McArthur or Napoleon would have been without a war, such was Boaz, whose sole claim to fame is that he was one of the greatest husbands who ever lived.

Boaz was also a mature believer. Unlike others who married for convenience, Boaz waited for his right woman and spent the time advancing to spiritual maturity. The path that his right woman took to reach him is a testimony to his spiritual advance in the grace of God. When Boaz finally met his right woman, he was probably 50 years old. He was waiting faithfully for God to fulfill His promise when he saw Ruth working in his field. The Lord brought Ruth to him per the divine order of precedent.

When Boaz entered his field that morning (Ruth 2:4-5), he greeted his reapers by recognizing the blessing of the LORD upon the agricultural operation. How many today have a clue as to what makes a business successful? Then Boaz noticed a new gleaner, which was an entry level position, a pauper. Granted Ruth was probably the most attractive woman in the field, but Boaz immediately noticed a new employee and inquired about her. He asked the crew foreman for a report on her, which was promptly provided. All this shows the sensitivity of a great leader as well as the efficiency of his business.

The crew foreman told Boaz that this was the Moabite girl who came back with Naomi. Moabites were foreigners, who were respected but lacked the full rights of Jewish citizenship (e.g. the right to worship in the temple with Jews). Perhaps it was anticipated that Boaz would not take notice. But it is obvious, that his personnel department had already allowed a Moabite to work on the farm because Boaz had established a policy (in keeping with the Mosaic Law) that prevented racial prejudice. The Crew Foreman related how Ruth had followed established protocol in requesting permission to glean and that she was a hard worker.

Boaz listened to the report and read between the lines the spiritual meaning. Nothing is ever understood until it is understood spiritually. Boaz, as a mature believer, was used to analyzing circumstances with Divine viewpoint. He was executing the Plan of God just as Ruth had been when she chose a field and applied for permission to work that morning. Boaz immediately understood (without going back to sit down in the shade and pray about it) that Ruth had separated from the world and was working to support Naomi.

Boaz next demonstrated his leadership ability and offered her permanent employment for the duration of the harvest (Ruth 2:8). He afforded her equal opportunity with his own maids (servants). And he established a sexual harassment policy (Ruth 2:9) to prevent any incident before it happened in his field. He told Ruth that she was under this protection.

He told Ruth that she could drink water that had been drawn by the servants. She wouldn't have to draw her own. She would be treated with hospitality. She would receive equal treatment. There would be no prejudice against her. Among the snobbishness of racial prejudice, foreigners are often prevented from eating or drinking with locals. However, Boaz made it clear that he provided fair personnel management practices. This further demonstrated sensitivity to personnel needs because one of the most important needs of a farm worker is access to water. When working in the hot Sun, it is a necessity. Thus, we see Boaz personally handling the personnel orientation for the lowest class of worker even though he is the entrepreneur of the estate and director of harvest operations.

Gleaning Principles

Boaz is a believer in Spiritual Maturity by the time he meets his Right Woman. He is prosperous, a great leader, and entrepreneur of a large estate. All Boaz had was provided compliments of the grace of God per the Plan of God. He applies Bible Doctrine in every area of his life every day. Boaz has waited almost 40 years for his Right Woman. His friends have probably been through several divorces by now and their children have become adults. Boaz waited for God to provide per the divine order of precedent. He may have been 50 to 55 years old before he ever met his Right Woman. When Ruth came into his life during the barley harvest, she was perhaps 19 to 20 years old. He was old enough to be her father. Boaz went to work one morning and the Lord Jesus Christ had brought his Right Woman into his field. She was waiting for him to arrive. Boaz performed his job as a professional, and that is how he met Ruth. She was a new employee. As a mature believer and great leader, Boaz looked out for his personnel - even the entry level peasants. Boaz was doing his job as unto the Lord. He was not selecting a pretty young female to make a conquest. He treated Ruth with the utmost respect and hospitality. As will be seen later, he even waited for Ruth to choose him as her Right Man. He never tried to coerce her volition.


There are three parts to the divine solution for romance - i.e. Right Man/Right Woman: All three parts of the divine solution must be mastered. The three parts may be viewed as phases of the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. Although the phases overlap, they generally follow the pattern of beginning with Attraction and culminating in Rapport. All of the phases must be executed by faith-application in the spiritual life. Spirituality is required to execute the Attraction Phase just as it is required to execute the Rapport Phase.



The attraction phase of romance refers to the period of searching for the Right Man/Right Woman in order to accomplish physical identification. It is a period of attraction to the physical for the purpose of finding the right one. Consequently, it not only refers to attraction toward the right one, but also attraction toward the wrong one. God has placed this desire in the hearts of mankind to entice them to search for their Right Man/Right Woman.

Right Man/Woman <===========> Wrong Man/Woman

This phenomenon explains preoccupation with the physical by adolescents and immature adults. The soul will easily be attracted to the wrong person until the Right Man/Woman arrives; and, even then, the immature believer will be preoccupied with the physical. There is much more to this wonderful relationship than just the physical. However, those who view Wrong Man/Woman may be strongly attracted. This explains the preoccupation with nudity and other frantic searches for finding the love of one's life. This is simply the attraction phase of romance.

For those who are more discerning, the Attraction Phase may include appreciation for another's values, norms and standards, skills, abilities, talents, ambitions, or desires. Included are opportunities for acquiescence of compatible Old Sin Natures. For example, two who have similar patterns of sin, human good, or evil may be attracted. This explains the desire of those with psychological kinks or aberrations to socialize with like types. Of course, our definition here relates only to the Attraction Phase of romance - not the host of other worldly attractions.

The Attraction Phase is a stage of immaturity in the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. It is the introductory period only - not the culmination of the relationship. Granted, some immature types never progress beyond the Attraction Phase, but this is not the desired outcome. The Attraction Phase is necessary and cannot be avoided. It may be awkward but it need not be a failure.

Problems of the Attraction Phase

The Attraction Phase has some serious failure modes when the Plan of God is violated. The Attraction Phase must be executed per the Word of God. That means that sin, human good, lust, and evil must be avoided. If one sins, then the Recovery Procedure (1 John 1:9) must be followed in order to regain the Filling of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, there will be no further progress. Instead Frantic Search for Happiness and the road of Reversionism will take one down to crash and burn. As with all phases of romance, success can only be achieved by following the principles of spirituality. The Plan of God must be executed, which demands the Filling of the Spirit; otherwise, the spiritual life as well as the love life will be a failure.

The popular misconception about meeting the Right Man/Right Woman is that it will be a wonderful experience and the two will be madly attracted, fall in love, and live happily ever after. This is not the case. Even with Ruth and Boaz, which was one of the smoothest romances ever recorded, it was obviously not that way. At the initial meeting, unless the believer is very astute, the Right Man/Right Woman will not even be identified. It often takes many associations before the truth begins to be understood.

Whereas, the Attraction Phase is supposed to be for finding the right one, most of the problems arise from relationships with the wrong one. It is the attraction to the wrong one that wastes one's life chasing rainbows and ending up on dead end streets. The wrong one must be promptly booted out of one's soul. Many wrong ones must be rejected before the right one is discovered. So if a person is not ready to cull the wrong ones, the right one will never be found. The great example of this in history was Solomon, who had a thousand women in his harem, but never found his right one.

Sexual Sins

Sex in any form prior to marriage is prohibited by the Word of God. Sex during the Attraction Phase, even with the Right Man/Right Woman, will destroy the relationship and result in intensified discipline. Note that the word, "fornication," is translated "immorality" in the New American Standard (NAS), which is not correct. The Greek, porneiva  (porneia), refers to fornication. The NAS also uses "man" in this verse, but it should be translated "person", since a[nqrwpo"  (anthropos) refers to a human being. Both the man and the woman get discipline for fornication. Sex during the Attraction Phase will stop all progress and introduce intensive discipline from God for violating the principles of the Divine Institution of Marriage. God designed sex for marriage only. This means that sex in any form prior to marriage will jeopardize one's hope of ever having a successful marriage.

The counseling professions are full of error regarding premarital sex and other sexual aberrations, e.g. masturbation. These are all sins. They are arrogant violations of God's gift of sex, which is for marriage only. The justice of God will be swift to discipline these sins, and they do serious damage to future marital relationships. Those engaged in such activity may never find the right one as it was with Solomon. For those who have sinned sexually, there is a recovery process, which begins with Rebound and includes a long road of suffering and discipline.


The concept of courtship and dating are worldly concepts that are not taught in the Word of God. Ruth and Boaz went all the way to marriage, and Boaz never dated her or courted her apart from having lunch with her in the presence of others. The Plan of God has taken this Attraction Phase into consideration. The right one will be around often enough to enable one to successfully execute the Plan of God and advance through the Attraction Phase without courtship.

Perhaps this seems unusual, but courtship is full of human good and lack of humility. When a man takes it upon himself to arrange a meeting with a woman to woo her, to arouse romantic interest, he is full of arrogance. That is not the purpose of the Attraction Phase. The Attraction Phase is a testing phase in the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. God gives the tests - not mankind. The tests can only be passed spiritually. God does not need help.

There is no reason to touch or kiss the Right Man/Right Woman during the attraction phase. A famous evangelist once said that he never kissed his wife before they were engaged. This may sound cold, but it makes sense. The Attraction Phase is not designed to receive or express one's physical love for another. A kiss is certainly not a sin, but it can easily lead to sensuality. This is not a legalistic lecture on avoiding the lusts of the flesh. It is simple recognition of the Plan of God. The activity commonly engaged in by teens in "making out" is anything but true love. The Attraction Phase of romance is not for hugging and kissing, petting or sensuality, it is for identification and passing the testing of the Plan of God to determine maturity, fitness for marriage.

For those who are now ready to fly off halfcocked and misconstrue this chapter: Kissing is not a sin. Dating is not a sin. Courtship is not prohibited by the Bible. However, the Attraction Phase of romance can only be executed per the grace of God. This requires the Filling of the Spirit and faith-application. God does not need our help and we cannot be promoted though this phase and demonstrate maturity to enter the next phase unless we obey the Plan of God.Soul Model

Soul Model

The soul model for the Attraction Phase is the one used by Moses (Deut. 28:13) and Isaiah (Isa. 9:14-15). It is simple. The head represents authority while the tail represents the body, emotion, and the resulting slavery. Animals have a tail. There is no brain in the tail. The head is first; the tail is last. The model applies to humans as well as animals. When the head is used to submit to authority, the body is under control. However, when the head is empty, the body is a slave to its tail. The subconscious, Old Sin Nature, and emotion all strive to satisfy the lust of the flesh - i.e. the tail. The tail exhibits polarized degeneracy with affinity toward legalism (anus) (1 Sam. 5:6) or lawlessness (genitals) (1 Cor. 6:16). When one rejects God's authority, he enters the Cosmic System of Satan, who manifests himself in two ways: As the god of war and the goddess of love.

The believer in the Attraction Phase has a choice: To be a head or a tail. The head represents submission to the authority of the Word of God. The tail represents rejection of the authority of God and love of the world (Satan's Cosmic System). When the authority of God is rejected, the tail will pursue one of two extremes Legalism or Lawlessness. The sexual sins, e.g. fornication, are Lawlessness. Implacability in all forms, bitterness, sins of the tongue, murder, are examples of the pursuit of Legalism (which sets oneself up as God to punish offenders). Role model arrogance may place wrong man/woman on a pedestal and worship them. This is the tail of lawlessness. Later, when the feet of clay are discovered, iconoclastic arrogance may seek to destroy the image. This is the tail of legalism.

To fornicate or engage in some other lascivious activity illustrates failure in the Attraction Phase of romance. Similarly, to fight or react illustrates failure in the Attraction Phase. When a man is around some else's right woman, he must be a gentleman and keep his hands off the property. She is not his. Further, when he is around his right woman in the Attraction Phase, he must have the capacity for life to remain under control. In the Attraction Phase, he is not ready for a physical relationship. To do so is to submit to the desires of the tail. The physical relationship is for marriage - not the Attraction Phase.

Women, the kindest thing God could have ever done for you would have been to let you be born ugly. However, this is never the case. All women are beautiful. If a woman were born ugly, she would have the best chance of fending off the men. Since she is a responder, she has it rough in the Attraction Phase. She is going to naturally respond to the man in her environment. When she is not under the authority of her head (which means under the authority of her right man and God), she is doomed to slavery to the tail. Whereas, the man consciously decides to pursue the paramour, the woman simply responds to her subconscious. When she associates with the wrong man, she is already under his power. Only by having the objectivity to think ahead can she avoid illicit attractions.

So the Attraction Phase requires keeping the head, which signifies submission to the authority of the Word of God. This means executing the Christian life in the Filling of the Holy Spirit. To succumb to the desires of the tail (world, flesh, or the devil) in the pursuit of the paramour or even the right one is to flunk the Attraction Phase of romance. Fortunately, when we fail, there is a recovery procedure, which begins with 1 John 1:9. Depending upon the failure, the believer will have to accept responsibility for it and submit to the discipline from the Supreme Court of Heaven. In the case of fornication, which brings intensified discipline, the recovery may take a long time and will only be possible through the daily perception of Bible Doctrine.

Summary of the Attraction Phase

The purpose of the Attraction Phase is identification of Right Man/Right Woman. The phase follows the Divine Order of Precedent. The Lord Jesus Christ brings the Right Woman to the Right Man. The bone structure is the first clue and afterward the Holy Spirit will answer all questions and administer all tests. This phase must be executed spiritually per the Plan of God. This demands obedience to the head, which represents authority, and rejection of the solicitations from the tail, the attraction to the wrong man/woman and sensuality.

Passing the testing in the Attraction Phase demands capacity for spiritual life. This is acquired by spiritual growth through the daily metabolization of Bible Doctrine. The believer must be able to make faith-application to handle this phase. Immature believers or those involved in apostasy or reversionism will become casualties. They will remain in this phase until they grow up spiritually.

The Attraction Phase of romance is the warmup drill for the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. It is only the beginning of a long road that will last a lifetime - for better or for worse. The first days will be a time of confusion and sorting things out. They are the easiest part. The road ahead demands the full arsenal of the Christian Life. This is no party. Once this phase is passed, the next two phases will bring testing never before imagined.



1. C. F. Keil and F. Delitzch (James Martin, Translator), Commentary on the Old Testament, Vol. II, ISBN 0-8028-8036-3 (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans Publishing Co.), 1978.

Released, 1997 - Revised May 27, 2014

Author: Larry Wood

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