RUTH
The Story of Right Woman
Ruth is the story of Right Woman. The simple love
story is key to understanding the Plan of God, love, and marriage as revealed
in the scripture. So simple, yet so powerful when understood, this book
is dedicated to the scriptural explanation of Right Man/Right Woman as
related from the perspective of Right Woman. The scriptural explanation
of romance bears no resemblance to the worldly viewpoint of courtship and
marriage. The story of Ruth is one of the most powerful love stories ever
told.
PREVIEW
Highlights
-
Ruth was a Moabite - not a Jew.
-
The Attraction Phase of Romance is not courting,
dating, wild passions, kissing, touching, or wooing. Not even kissing is
important before marriage.
-
Relationship with God is far more important than
relationship with Right Man/Right Woman in the advance through the phases
of romance and marriage.
-
Romance in the Plan of God prior to marriage bears
no resemblance to romantic novels.
-
The immature believer will be a casualty in marriage
just as he is a casualty in the spiritual life.
-
Every human being has a Right Man/Right Woman.
Intimacy in this life can only be achieved with that one.
-
Marriage is God's solution to our lives - not human
ambition.
-
Sex is God's gift to marriage. Sex in any form except
between Right Man/Right Woman within the boundaries of marriage is expressly
prohibited by the Word of God and is the quickest way to destroy the possibility
of ever having a successful marriage.
Topics
-
How to meet and identify Right Man/Right Woman.
-
The Phases of Romance: Attraction, Soulish Compatibility,
and Spiritual.
-
The Plan of God in the Right Man/Right Woman relationship.
-
The man's love and the woman's respect.
-
Women in the workplace and sexual harassment.
-
Intimacy and privacy.
-
Worldly distractions (Internet Sex, Reacting Women,
Business Ambition, Sexuality in Children)
-
The solution for illicit sex problems, e.g. fornication,
adultery, masturbation.
SCRIPTURAL BACKGROUND
Divine Order of Precedent
The order of precedent for the Divine Institution of Marriage was established
in the Garden of Eden, and it has never changed. The essential elements
of that relationship were:
-
The Lord created the right woman for the right man (Gen.
2:21-22).
-
The Lord brought the right woman to the right man (Gen.
2:22b).
-
The right man identified the right woman (and was delighted) (Gen.
2:23).
-
The Lord Jesus Christ performed the wedding ceremony (Gen.
2:22-24).
-
The marriage was consummated with sex (Gen.
2:24-25).
We can learn much from this because it has never changed. The Lord Jesus
Christ still creates the woman for the man. She is built to specifications
to fit the man physically, soulishly, and spiritually just as hv*a!
('Ishah) (Adam's right woman) in the Garden. So why worry, men or
women, about having a right man or right woman? Man and woman are incomplete
without their right partner. The Lord never built them to be single in
the first place. Divine design has provided the perfect solution if we
can just allow it without getting in the way!
The whole thing is very simple if we leave it to the grace of God. He
took everything into consideration during the formation of the DNA before
birth. We were born to match someone else. Man is not complete without
the woman; neither is the woman without the man (1
Corinthians 11:11). So a solution exists in the Plan of God - not just
good intentions, but in reality. Every man or woman has a built-in relationship
with their opposite number from birth. So when a child is born, it is born
to relate to another human, which will one day culminate in the marriage
relationship.
The body that comes from the womb is not designed to profile mother
or father, but Right Man/Right Woman. The first sucking that uniquely characterizes
every child is not for mother but for Right Man/Right Woman. The gene combinations
were not a chance of nature, but the craftsmanship of the Lord Jesus Christ,
the Creator of all things. So when women are cooing over a newborn babe
and say that he has Dad's nose or eyes or some other silly thing, they
are wrong! The baby has a body designed for its opposite number - Right
Man/Right Woman.
We can learn many other things from the Garden. The Lord brought the
woman to the man. So how should we try to find Right Man/Right Woman? We
shouldn't worry about it. We don't have to date around, become socialites,
go to bars, or run ads. The meeting is handled exclusively by the personnel
director, the Lord Jesus Christ, who escorts the Right Woman to the Right
Man. If the believer is executing the Plan of God, then the right one will
come along at the right time. The big problem, however, is that Christians
are not executing the Plan of God; so their opposite number may never be
recognized even when they do pass.
So how can one recognize Right Man or Right Woman? The bone structure
of the face and body is the first clue. Look for a match. Of course, many
people look alike. Some people are almost doubles; so, a little extra help
is in order. With Adam it was no problem, since Ishah was the only
woman on earth, but we need extra help; and God the Holy Spirit provides
that help. Whenever we lack wisdom, He serves as our personal counselor.
Just ask, and the answer will be there. Now, unless the person who asks
is operating in the Filling of the Spirit, it won't work. Neither will
the question be heard by God nor will the answer be given. Even when the
answer is given, it can only be recognized in the Filling of the Spirit.
Principle: To find Right Man or Right Woman,
get with doctrine.
Adam and the Ishah identified each other in the Garden. At least
one of them (which was Adam in this case) knew the score. Nothing has changed.
Unless either Right Man or Right Woman knows the score, the chances of
this fantastic relationship ever transpiring are next to nil. Adam was
prepared, established, educated, and ready to have a true love relationship
when Ishah came along. God's timing is the right time. We don't
have to get pushy. Some people find the right one when they are young,
and some must wait till they are older. But God decides the right time
- not us. The Creator decides - not the creation.
The next important lesson we can learn from the Garden is that sex came
after the wedding ceremony - not before. Sex was the consummation of the
marriage. Sex was the exclusive right of marriage - not an experiment to
sample the goods beforehand. Sex was designed for one person only in one
relationship only; and that was marriage. The Lord created the man and
the woman so they could have sex. He invented sex. Also note, there was
no lust in the Garden before sin. There was perfect love and sex was the
expression of that love. And the love and the sex were perfect. Sex was
for recreation - not procreation. There were no perversions - just intimate
love and super sex. Mankind did not need any alternatives or any handbooks
or counselors to figure this thing out. And that has never changed.
The Importance of the Book of Ruth
The book of Ruth is important because it establishes the origin of the
Davidic Dynasty. David was the greatest king of Israel. The Davidic Covenant
establishes his throne forever and will be fulfilled in the Millennium
under the New Covenant to Israel. In addition, the book of Ruth appears
to be a simple love story. However, it is much more because it establishes
the doctrine of Right Man/Right Woman for Israel. The book of Ruth is the
story of Right Man/Right Woman from the perspective of the woman. In it
is the precedent for Paul's spiritual analogy of the relationship between
Church-Age believers as the virgin bride and the Head of the Church, the
Lord Jesus Christ, the Right Man.
The dedication of an entire book to the subject of Right Woman in Israel
is a significant part of the Old Covenant (Old Testament) Canon. Right
Woman is an important doctrine because the congregation of Israel was symbolically
the wife of Jehovah (the LORD). In this metaphor, the believer in Israel
was the Right Woman and the LORD was the Right Man. This love relationship
was the most important relationship per the most important commandment:
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your might" (Deut.
6:5, 11:13; Mark 12:30). Marriage, which illustrates this relationship,
is thus very important. The entire book of Ruth is dedicated to revealing
the Divine Institution of Marriage and Right Man/Right Woman.
RUTH'S STORY
Historical Setting
Ruth 1:1 Now it came about in the days when the judges governed, that
there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem in Judah
went to sojourn in the land of Moab with his wife and his two sons.
According to the timeline, the book of Ruth could have occurred during
the latter days of Gideon. There was a famine in the land of Israel, which
led one of the men of Israel to emigrate with his family to Moab. Here
we see how the Lord Jesus Christ, who controls history, engineered the
circumstances to bring about His Plan. The Plan of God called for the birth
of a great king, i.e. David. In order to provide this King, God, in His
infinite wisdom, decided that David would come from a Moabite woman instead
of a Jewish one. We know that the vigor of a people is often improved by
mixing the blood line with another; but whether, this is the reason God
decided upon the Moabite woman, we don't know.
Ruth 1:2 And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his
wife, Naomi; and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites
of Bethlehem in Judah. Now they entered the land of Moab and remained there.
The Hebrew name in the Old Covenant to Israel (Old Testament) is always
a clue to the calling, or destiny, of the individual. Thus, i=l#m#yl!a$
(Elimelech), is a combination of two words, la@
(El) (God), and i=l#m# (melek, king);
thus, it means "to whom God is king." This is the origin of the dynasty
of David. Before there were human kings in Israel, God was the only leader.
Later, Israel would have human kings; and David would be the second and
greatest. ym!u(n` (Naomi) means "the gracious."1
Mahlon, /wl)j=m^ (Machlon
from original) means weak and sickly. And Chilion,
/wy{l=k! , means consumption (wasting away). The names of the boys
predicted their early demise. Ruth is a Moabite name and cannot be established
with certainty from its transliteration into Hebrew. However from the context,
Ruth will become a name synonymous with Right Woman.
Elimelech soon died in Moab and the two sons married Moabite women.
Machlon,
the elder, married Ruth (Ruth
1:3-4). However, soon both Machlon and Chilion died also. Now
Naomi was left alone with her two daughters-in-law, but without a man they
were unable to make a living. So they were forced to return to Bethlehem,
Naomi's old hometown.
The total time Naomi was in Moab was about ten years (Ruth
1:4). Ruth's approximate age can be surmised from this. The earliest
she would have been married would have been age 14 (which would not be
unusual for the Moabites); otherwise, due to promiscuity, the girl would
often not have been a virgin at the time of marriage. If the family were
in Moab 5 years before Machlon married Ruth, then Ruth would have
been 19 at the time. It is probably reasonable to assume that she was 19
to 24 at the time of the return to Bethlehem.
Separation from the World
Naomi decided to leave Moab because she had heard that there was food available
in Judah (Ruth
1:6). As she left Moab, Ruth and Orpah (the other sister-in-law) were
accompanying her (Ruth
1:7). Naomi demanded that the daughters-in-law go home to their mothers,
since she did not need them to look after her. Orpah decided to go back.
Ruth 1:15 Then she said, “Behold, your sister-in-law has gone back
to her people and her gods; return after your sister-in-law.”
Here is the picture that is so prevalent. Orpah had become a believer,
but instead of pressing on to maturity, she turned back to the world and
to her old ways. To return to Moab meant to return to slavery to Satan's
cosmic system. In Moab, the people worshipped the gods - primarily Chemosh
(Nu.
21:29; Judg. 11:24; 1 Ki. 11:33; 2 Ki 23:13; Jer. 48:7, 13, 46), whose
worship was similar to Baal and included burning children as sacrifices.
During the wilderness wanderings the gods of Moab had been responsible
for the worst plagues and judgment on Israel (Num. 22-25). The gods of
idolatry always take two forms as did the Moabite gods: The gods of war
and the gods of love. Thus, returning to Moab meant returning to an evil
nation. The nation of Moab came from the incest between Lot and his elder
daughter (Genesis
19:30-38). The return to Moab is a symbol of reversionism (turning
back from the Plan of God to follow a worldly alternative).
Ruth, however, refused to turn back. As a believer in Jehovah-Elohim,
she refused to stay in Moab, a symbol of the world, but chose, instead,
to go with Naomi to the Promised Land. Ruth took a solemn oath of dedication
to Naomi, the Jews, and God.
Ruth 1:16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave
you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where
you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God,
my God.17 “Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus
may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.”
At this point Ruth demonstrated her understanding of Bible Doctrine and
made a spiritual decision to separate from the world. She was executing
the Plan of God by application of Bible Doctrine to experience. In order
to reach this point in her spiritual life, she had to first make daily
decisions to get Bible Doctrine and believe it on the basis of faith. Then
she had to decide to apply that doctrine to her life. This is experiential
sanctification, the purpose of the life of the believer. This decision
of Ruth will take her to her right man, who is waiting for her in Bethlehem.
Principle: Right Man or Right Woman is not in
the world but is in the Plan of God.
Ruth is Brought to Her Right Man
Per the divine order of precedent, the Lord Jesus Christ escorted Ruth
to her Right Man. The circumstances involved clearly demonstrate how far
the Lord will go to fulfill the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. When
the story of Ruth began, Ruth was a Moabite (different race) who lived
in Moab and her right man was a Jew who lived in Judah. In order to bring
her to her right man, there had to be a famine in Israel, a Jewish family
had to emigrate to Moab, Ruth had to marry a Jewish man, two women had
to be barren, three men had to die, and Naomi's household had to become
bankrupt. Furthermore, Ruth, a Moabite had to be positive to Bible Doctrine
and execute the Plan of God.
Ruth and Naomi came to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest,
which began with the Feast of Firstfruits, the day after Passover. Passover
was celebrated on the 14th day of the first month of the Jewish calendar,
which corresponds to March-April. Thus, Passover would fall approximately
April 1. At harvest time almost everyone was working in the field harvesting
the barley. Since, Naomi and Ruth were bankrupt, Ruth decided to get a
job as a gleaner. Gleaners were poor women peasants who followed the reapers
and picked up straw (stalks of barley) that were dropped. Gleaners were
like migrant laborers, Chinese peasants, or Russian peasants, who worked
in the fields of others at harvest time. On her first day on the job, Ruth
wound up in a field belonging to Boaz, her right man. She had traveled
from a foreign country, received permission to work as a peasant and was
waiting for him (per the Plan of God) when he arrived for work that morning.
BOAZ'S STORY
Boaz Meets His Right Woman
Boaz is described as "a man of great wealth" (Ruth
2:1, NAS). However, the Hebrew is much more descriptive. He was, ly!j^
rwB)G! vya! ('ish gibbor chajil):
vya! ('ish) (man, right man), rwB)G!
(gibbor)
(heroic, mighty, noble), ly!j^
(chajil) (efficiency,
wealth). Thus, the better translation is "a great, noble leader." Boaz
was an aristocrat and entrepreneur with not just management skills but
leadership ability. He had great ability as an agriculturist. He managed
a large estate. He would be able to manage a large corporation today.
His leadership ability as revealed in the book of Ruth was magnificent.
He managed women in the workplace, established policy on sexual harassment,
managed an estate, and was a brilliant lawyer. He is one of those rare
and gifted leaders, who because history dealt him no crisis, never became
famous. If one can imagine what great leaders like Douglas McArthur or
Napoleon would have been without a war, such was Boaz, whose sole claim
to fame is that he was one of the greatest husbands who ever lived.
Boaz was also a mature believer. Unlike others who married for convenience,
Boaz waited for his right woman and spent the time advancing to spiritual
maturity. The path that his right woman took to reach him is a testimony
to his spiritual advance in the grace of God. When Boaz finally met his
right woman, he was probably 50 years old. He was waiting faithfully for
God to fulfill His promise when he saw Ruth working in his field. The Lord
brought Ruth to him per the divine order of precedent.
When Boaz entered his field that morning (Ruth
2:4-5), he greeted his reapers by recognizing the blessing of the LORD
upon the agricultural operation. How many today have a clue as to what
makes a business successful? Then Boaz noticed a new gleaner, which was
an entry level position, pauper. Granted Ruth was probably the most attractive
woman in the field, but Boaz immediately noticed a new employee and inquired
about her. He asked the crew foreman for a report on her, which was promptly
provided. All this shows the sensitivity of a great leader as well as the
efficiency of his business.
The crew foreman told Boaz that this was the Moabite girl who came back
with Naomi. Moabites were foreigners, who were respected but lacked the
full rights of Jewish citizenship (e.g. the right to worship in the temple
with Jews). Perhaps it was anticipated that Boaz would not take notice.
But it is obvious, that his personnel department had already allowed a
Moabite to work on the farm because Boaz had established a policy (in keeping
with the Mosaic Law) that prevented racial prejudice. The Crew Foreman
related how Ruth had followed established protocol in requesting permission
to glean and that she was a hard worker.
Ruth 2:7 “And she said, ‘Please let me glean and gather after the reapers
among the sheaves.’ Thus she came and has remained from the morning until
now; she has been sitting in the house for a little while.”
Boaz listened to the report and read between the lines the spiritual meaning.
Nothing is ever understood until it is understood spiritually. Boaz, as
a mature believer, was used to analyzing circumstances with divine viewpoint.
He was executing the Plan of God just as Ruth had been when she chose a
field and applied for permission to work that morning. Boaz immediately
understood (without going back to sit down in the shade and pray about
it) that Ruth had separated from the world and was working to support Naomi.
Boaz next demonstrated his leadership ability and offered her permanent
employment for the duration of the harvest (Ruth
2:8). He afforded her equal opportunity with his own maids (servants).
And he established a sexual harassment policy (Ruth 2:9) to prevent any
incident before it happened in his field. He told Ruth that she was under
this protection.
“Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them.
Indeed, I have commanded the servants not to touch you. When you are thirsty,
go to the water jars and drink from what the servants draw.” (Ruth 2:9)
He told Ruth that she could drink water that had been drawn by the servants.
She wouldn't have to draw her own. She would be treated with hospitality.
She would receive equal treatment. There would be no prejudice against
her. Among the snobbishness of racial prejudice, foreigners are often prevented
from eating or drinking with locals. However, Boaz made it clear that he
provided fair personnel management practices. This further demonstrated
sensitivity to personnel needs because one of the most important needs
of a farm worker is access to water. When working in the hot sun, it is
a necessity. Thus, we see Boaz personally handling the personnel orientation
for the lowest class of worker even though he is the entrepreneur of the
estate and director of harvest operations.
Gleaning Principles
Boaz is a believer in Spiritual Maturity by the time he meets his Right
Woman. He is prosperous, a great leader, and entrepreneur of a large estate.
All Boaz had was provided compliments of the grace of God per the Plan
of God. He applies Bible Doctrine in every area of his life every day.
Boaz has waited almost 40 years for his Right Woman. His friends have probably
been through several divorces by now and their children have become adults.
Boaz waited for God to provide per the divine order of precedent. He may
have been 50 to 55 years old before he ever met his Right Woman. When Ruth
came into his life during the barley harvest, she was perhaps 19 to 20
years old. He was old enough to be her father.
Principle: Right Man/Right Woman discover each
other by executing the Plan of God.
Principle: God provides the Right Woman for the
Right Man in grace - human works (e.g. social life, partying, running ads,
dating around) are rejected.
Principle: Age does not make a difference in the
Right Man/Right Woman relationship per the Plan of God.
Boaz went to work one morning and the Lord Jesus Christ had brought his
Right Woman into his field. She was waiting for him to arrive. Boaz performed
his job as a professional, and that is how he met Ruth. She was a new employee.
As a mature believer and great leader, Boaz looked out for his personnel
- even the entry level peasants. Boaz was doing his job as unto the Lord.
He was not selecting a pretty young female to make a conquest. He treated
Ruth with the utmost respect and hospitality. As will be seen later, he
even waited for Ruth to choose him as her Right Man. He never tried to
coerce her volition.
Principle: Right Man/Right Woman may meet on
the job.
Principle: A CEO/director should be sensitive
to the needs of his employees.
Principle: It is not demeaning to perform menial
jobs.
Principle: If we treat others with justice, the
Lord will treat us with justice. Personnel practices must be fair to all.
THE DIVINE SOLUTION IN ROMANCE
There are three parts to the divine solution for
romance - i.e. Right Man/Right Woman:
-
Attraction - Physical Identification
-
Compatibility - Soul Love
-
Rapport - Spirituality
All three parts of the divine solution must be mastered.
The three parts may be viewed as phases of the Right Man/Right Woman relationship.
Although the phases overlap, they generally follow the pattern of beginning
with Attraction and culminating in Rapport. All of the phases must be executed
by faith-application in the spiritual life. Spirituality is required to
execute the Attraction Phase just as it is required to execute the Rapport
Phase.
ATTRACTION PHASE
Definition
The attraction phase of romance refers to the period
of searching for the Right Man/Right Woman in order to accomplish physical
identification. It is a period of attraction to the physical for the purpose
of finding the right one. Consequently, it not only refers to attraction
toward the right one, but also attraction toward the wrong one. God has
placed this desire in the hearts of mankind to entice them to search for
their Right Man/Right Woman.
Attraction
Right Man/Woman <===========> Wrong Man/Woman
This phenomenon explains preoccupation with the
physical by adolescents and immature adults. The soul will easily be attracted
to the wrong person until the Right Man/Woman arrives; and, even then,
the immature believer will be preoccupied with the physical. There is much
more to this wonderful relationship than just the physical. However, those
who view Wrong Man/Woman may be strongly attracted. This explains the preoccupation
with nudity and other frantic searches for finding the love of one's life.
This is simply the attraction phase of romance.
For those who are more discerning, the Attraction
Phase may include appreciation for another's values, norms and standards,
skills, abilities, talents, ambitions, or desires. Included are opportunities
for acquiescence of compatible Old Sin Natures. For example, two who have
similar patterns of sin, human good, or evil may be attracted. This explains
the desire of those with psychological kinks or aberrations to socialize
with like types. Of course, our definition here relates only to the Attraction
Phase of romance - not the host of other worldly attractions.
The Attraction Phase is a stage of immaturity
in the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. It is the introductory period
only - not the culmination of the relationship. Granted, some immature
types never progress beyond the Attraction Phase, but this is not the desired
outcome. The Attraction Phase is necessary and cannot be avoided. It may
be awkward but it need not be a failure.
Problems of the Attraction Phase
The Attraction Phase has some serious failure modes
when the Plan of God is violated. The Attraction Phase must be executed
per the Word of God. That means that sin, human good, lust, and evil must
be avoided. If one sins, then the Recovery Procedure (1 John 1:9) must
be followed in order to regain the Filling of the Holy Spirit. Otherwise,
there will be no further progress. Instead Frantic Search for Happiness
and the road of Reversionism will take one down to crash and burn. As with
all phases of romance, success can only be achieved by following the principles
of spirituality. The Plan of God must be executed, which demands the Filling
of the Spirit; otherwise, the spiritual life as well as the love life will
be a failure.
The popular misconception about meeting the Right
Man/Right Woman is that it will be a wonderful experience and the two will
be madly attracted, fall in love, and live happily ever after. This is
not the case. Even with Ruth and Boaz, which was one of the smoothest romances
ever recorded, it was obviously not that way. At the initial meeting, unless
the believer is very astute, the Right Man/Right Woman will not even be
identified. It often takes many associations before the truth begins to
be understood.
Whereas, the Attraction Phase is supposed to be
for finding the right one, most of the problems arise from relationships
with the wrong one. It is the attraction to the wrong one that wastes one's
life chasing rainbows and ending up on dead end streets. The wrong one
must be promptly booted out of one's soul. Many wrong ones must be rejected
before the right one is discovered. So if a person is not ready to cull
the wrong ones, the right one will never be found. The great example of
this in history was Solomon, who had a thousand women in his harem, but
never found his right one.
Principle: Experimenting with the wrong one does
not help; it only hurts.
Sexual Sins
Sex in any form prior to marriage is prohibited by
the Word of God. Sex during the Attraction Phase, even with the Right Man/Right
Woman, will destroy the relationship and result in intensified discipline.
Flee fornication. Every other sin that a person
commits is outside the body, but the immoral person sins against his own
body. (1 Cor. 6:18)
Note that the word, "fornication," is translated
"immorality" in the New American Standard (NAS), which is not correct.
The Greek, porneiva (porneia), refers
to fornication. The NAS also uses "man" in this verse, but it should be
translated "person", since a[nqrwpo" (anthropos)
refers to a human being. Both the man and the woman get discipline for
fornication. Sex during the Attraction Phase will stop all progress and
introduce intensive discipline from God for violating the principles of
the Divine Institution of Marriage. God designed sex for marriage only.
This means that sex in any form prior to marriage will jeopardize one's
hope of ever having a successful marriage.
The counseling professions are full of error regarding
premarital sex and other sexual aberrations, e.g. masturbation. These are
all sins. They are arrogant violations of God's gift of sex, which is for
marriage only. The justice of God will be swift to discipline these sins,
and they do serious damage to future marital relationships. Those engaged
in such activity may never find the right one as it was with Solomon. For
those who have sinned sexually, there is a recovery process, which begins
with Rebound and includes a long road of suffering and discipline.
Principle: Sex in any form prior to marriage
is prohibited!
Courtship
The concept of courtship and dating are worldly concepts
that are not taught in the Word of God. Ruth and Boaz went all the way
to marriage, and Boaz never dated her or courted her apart from having
lunch with her in the presence of others. The Plan of God has taken this
Attraction Phase into consideration. The right one will be around often
enough to enable one to successfully execute the Plan of God and advance
through the Attraction Phase without courtship.
Perhaps this seems unusual, but courtship is full
of human good and lack of humility. When a man takes it upon himself to
arrange a meeting with a woman to woo her, to arouse romantic interest,
he is full of arrogance. That is not the purpose of the Attraction Phase.
The Attraction Phase is a testing phase in the Right Man/Right Woman relationship.
God gives the tests - not mankind. The tests can only be passed spiritually.
God does not need help.
There is no reason to touch or kiss the Right
Man/Right Woman during the attraction phase. A famous evangelist once said
that he never kissed his wife before they were engaged. This may sound
cold, but it makes sense. The Attraction Phase is not designed to receive
or express one's physical love for another. A kiss is certainly not a sin,
but it can easily lead to sensuality. This is not a legalistic lecture
on avoiding the lusts of the flesh. It is simple recognition of the Plan
of God. The activity commonly engaged in by teens in "making out" is anything
but true love. The Attraction Phase of romance is not for hugging and kissing,
petting or sensuality, it is for identification and passing the testing
of the Plan of God to determine maturity, fitness for marriage.
Principle: Passing the test of the Attraction
Phase does not require touching.
For those who are now ready to fly off halfcocked
and misconstrue this chapter: Kissing is not a sin. Dating is not a sin.
Courtship is not prohibited by the Bible. However, the Attraction Phase
of romance can only be executed per the grace of God. This requires the
Filling of the Spirit and faith-application. God does not need our help
and we cannot be promoted though this phase and demonstrate maturity to
enter the next phase unless we obey the Plan of God.
Soul Model
The soul model for the Attraction Phase is the one
used by Moses (Deut.
28:13) and Isaiah (Isa.
9:14-15). It is simple. The head represents
authority while the tail represents the body, emotion, and the resulting
slavery. Animals have a tail. There is no brain in the tail. The head is
first; the tail is last. The model applies to humans as well as animals.
When the head is used to submit to authority, the body is under control.
However, when the head is empty, the body is a slave to its tail. The subconscious,
Old Sin Nature, and emotion all strive to satisfy the lust of the flesh
- i.e. the tail. The tail exhibits polarized degeneracy with affinity toward
legalism (anus) (1
Sam. 5:6) or lawlessness (genitals) (1
Cor. 6:16). When one rejects God's authority,
he enters the Cosmic System of Satan, who manifests himself in two ways:
As the god of war and the goddess of love.
The believer in the Attraction Phase has a choice:
To be a head or a tail. The head represents submission to the authority
of the Word of God. The tail represents rejection of the authority of God
and love of the world (Satan's Cosmic System). When the authority of God
is rejected, the tail will pursue one of two extremes Legalism or Lawlessness.
The sexual sins, e.g. fornication, are Lawlessness. Implacability in all
forms, bitterness, sins of the tongue, murder, are examples of the pursuit
of Legalism (which sets oneself up as God to punish offenders). Role model
arrogance may place wrong man/woman on a pedestal and worship them. This
is the tail of lawlessness. Later, when the feet of clay are discovered,
iconoclastic arrogance may seek to destroy the image. This is the tail
of legalism.
To fornicate or engage in some other lascivious
activity illustrates failure in the Attraction Phase of romance. Similarly,
to fight or react illustrates failure in the Attraction Phase. When a man
is around some else's right woman, he must be a gentleman and keep his
hands off the property. She is not his. Further, when he is around his
right woman in the Attraction Phase, he must have the capacity for life
to remain under control. In the Attraction Phase, he is not ready for a
physical relationship. To do so is to submit to the desires of the tail.
The physical relationship is for marriage - not the Attraction Phase.
Women, the kindest thing God could have ever done
for you would have been to let you be born ugly. However, this is never
the case. All women are beautiful. If a woman were born ugly, she would
have the best chance of fending off the men. Since she is a responder,
she has it rough in the Attraction Phase. She is going to naturally respond
to the man in her environment. When she is not under the authority of her
head (which means under the authority of her right man and God), she is
doomed to slavery to the tail. Whereas, the man consciously decides to
pursue the paramour, the woman simply responds to her subconscious. When
she associates with the wrong man, she is already under his power. Only
by having the objectivity to think ahead can she avoid illicit attractions.
So the Attraction Phase requires keeping the head,
which signifies submission to the authority of the Word of God. This means
executing the Christian life in the Filling of the Holy Spirit. To succumb
to the desires of the tail (world, flesh, or the devil) in the pursuit
of the paramour or even the right one is to flunk the Attraction Phase
of romance. Fortunately, when we fail, there is a recovery procedure, which
begins with 1 John 1:9. Depending upon the failure, the believer will have
to accept responsibility for it and submit to the discipline from the Supreme
Court of Heaven. In the case of fornication, which brings intensified discipline,
the recovery may take a long time and will only be possible through the
daily perception of Bible Doctrine.
Summary of the Attraction Phase
The purpose of the Attraction Phase is identification
of Right Man/Right Woman. The phase follows the Divine Order of Precedent.
The Lord Jesus Christ brings the Right Woman to the Right Man. The bone
structure is the first clue and afterward the Holy Spirit will answer all
questions and administer all tests. This phase must be executed spiritually
per the Plan of God. This demands obedience to the head, which represents
authority, and rejection of the solicitations from the tail, the attraction
to the wrong man/woman and sensuality.
Passing the testing in the Attraction Phase demands
capacity for spiritual life. This is acquired by spiritual growth through
the daily metabolization of Bible Doctrine. The believer must be able to
make faith-application to handle this phase. Immature believers or those
involved in apostasy or reversionism will become casualties. They will
remain in this phase until they grow up spiritually.
The Attraction Phase of romance is the warmup
drill for the Right Man/Right Woman relationship. It is only the beginning
of a long road that will last a lifetime - for better or for worse. The
first days will be a time of confusion and sorting things out. They are
the easiest part. The road ahead demands the full arsenal of the Christian
Life. This is no party. Once this phase is passed, the next two phases
will bring testing never before imagined.
Next
References
1. C. F. Keil and F. Delitzch (James Martin, Translator), Commentary on
the Old Testament, Vol. II, ISBN 0-8028-8036-3 (Grand Rapids, Michigan:
Eerdmans Publishing Co.), 1978.
(c) Larry Wood, 1997 - All rights reserved.
Last Revision: September 4, 2002
Author: Larry Wood